Let me just start by saying that being a girl sucks ass at times. It really does. Girls like me always end up having feelings for someone. No matter how hard I try to fight them. This summer I've done everything to try and forget feelings I have for certain people but it is totally impossible. Tom Cruise himself could not fix this. Swimming doesn't fix it, friends don't fix it, hugs don't fix it, and certainly Dr. Mc Dreamy himself (who we have here at camp right now.....but that's a totally different story) could not fix this. He helped a bit yesterday though. We had a conversation about how men and women do not understand each other. How we are so completely different. And its true. Women need to feel loved. They need to feel secure. And most importantly, they hate to be hurt. And boys like to hurt girls feelings...although most of the time I'm sure they don't even know they're doing it.

Yesterday I was hurt. For some reason or another I felt hurt by something someone said. It may sound stupid, and maybe I have no reason to feel this way, but I do. And I feel so helpless. I wish that feelings could be just squished in a ball and thrown away....more than anything I wish it was that easy. But it's not. Unfortunately these things linger in the corner of your gut and make you feel physically nauseated.

I get all these inspiration notes from people at camp telling me how great a job I'm doing and how my smile and patience is something we should all have....how I just might be the nicest person they've ever met....all these little things are great to hear at times. They really bring a person up. So many people see this but why is it that the one person you want to notice it the most turns a blind eye to it. This is kind of a sappy blog but I think it's just one of those days. The days to come are going to be much better.